Mending your relationship with food

Mending your relationship with food 

Did you know intentionally trying to lose weight results in weight gain 95% of the time? Frequent dieting is one of the top predictors of weight gain and the top predictor of eating disorder development.

 

This is because your body doesn’t know the difference between dieting and starvation. All your body sees is that it is not receiving the amount or the type of food that it wants at the time it wants. Therefore, it thinks that you must not have enough food around you and there must be a famine.

 

When your body goes into starvation mode, you experience increased cravings and hunger, “uncontrollable” eating, and a slowed metabolism. Your body wants to conserve as much energy as possible because it thinks your access to food is limited. Food insecurity can actually have this same effect on the body.

 

Here are the 10 Intuitive Eating Principles that help you to mend your relationship with food. Intuitive Eating is a book written by two eating disorder Dietitians, Elyse Resch and Evelyn Tribole.

 

Working with a dietitian or Intuitive Eating Counselor to support you through these principles can help you learn to cope with the emotions and sticking points of letting go of dieting for good.

 

How do you know if you have an unhealthy relationship with food?

If you…

o   Frequently diet

o   Feel “out of control” around certain foods or food in general

o   Feel the need to “earn” your food with exercise

o   Feel like eating one “bad” food makes you “fall off the wagon”

o   Have food rules you follow

o   Feel that there are “good” and “bad” foods

o   Feel that your self-worth changes based on what you eat

o   Ignore your hunger and fullness cues

o   Feel that tracking food is obsessive for you

o   Feel negatively toward your body’s appearance

 

Mending your relationship with food takes everyone a different amount of time depending on the way you grew up, how long you’ve been dieting or restricting, your support system, and many other factors. This process could take years to go through and that’s ok! This is your time to heal.

 

The first step is to put any attempts at changing the appearance of your body on the backburner. Weight loss is not the goal of mending your relationship with food. Many people will experience weight gain, especially at the beginning of this process and that is OK. Your body is allowed to change. Once you relearn how to eat, your body will likely settle at its set point- the weight at which your genetics are set to support you at.

 

You cannot tell the health of a person just by looking at them! Thin does not mean healthy. This is your time to work on your mental health. You deserve to heal.

 

1.    Reject the diet mentality:

Did you know that 95% of those who attempt to lose weight gain it back within the next few years? Did you know that 75% of those who gain the weight back will regain more than they originally lost?
Dieting does not work & it’s time to really get at the root of the problem: diet culture. Diet culture tells us that our bodies are not good enough the way they are.

 

When mending your relationship with food, it’s important to put the desire to change the appearance of your body on the backburner. This is your time to re-learn how to eat and this process is not meant to make you lose or gain weight. 

 

2.    Honor your hunger: External vs. Internal eating cues

External cues are ones that do NOT come from our body such as

·         a certain number of calories

·         eating at a certain time of day (ex. intermittent fasting)

·         eating certain food groups over others because they are good or bad

Internal cues come from within your body such as…

·         Thinking about a certain food

·         Irritability/hanger

·         Stomach rumbling

·         Inability to focus

·         Increased cravings

Honor your internal cues by ditching the external cues. External cues do not tell you when you are actually hungry.

 

3.    Make peace with food

Give yourself unconditional permission to eat all foods. When relearning how to eat, you need to allow yourself to eat whatever you want whenever you are hungry or want to eat.

 

This period of time is often the most fun! You get to eat all of the foods that you have avoided in the past. It’s like tasting foods for the first time. You may notice certain foods taste way different than you remembered!

 

The goal is to remove shame and guilt surrounded by eating certain foods. There are no good or bad foods. Eventually, you will be able to see all foods as neutral.

 

4.    Challenge the food police

If guilt is something you experience often when eating, relearning to eat will take lots of practice. When you feel guilty, try to determine where that guilt is coming from. Is there a certain rule that you were told growing up about that food or eating at that time of day?

 

Ask yourself if that rule serves you at this point in your life. If it does not, allow yourself permission to let it go.

 

5.    Discover the satisfaction factor

You are allowed to enjoy your food! This is usually the most fun principle.  Add back in those fear foods and feel the satisfaction that comes along with rich, fatty, flavorful foods.

 

These foods feed the soul and have a very needed role in our diet. These foods help us bond with others, feel satisfied and satiated, and make eating that much more enjoyable.

6.    Feel your fullness

Do you remember what pleasant fullness feels like? If the only feeling you know is over-fullness, you likely are not able to feel your fullness signals. YET. They will come back.

 

The most important thing you can do to feel your fullness is to eat every time you feel hungry or feel the need to eat. Your body needs to understand that there is plenty of food around. When you only give yourself food when you have calories leftover or when it’s finally time to end your fast, it thinks you’re starving.

 

The body does not know the difference between dieting and starving. Starvation mode leaves you with increased cravings, uncontrollable urge to eat, and your metabolism slows to hold onto everything you eat.

 

The more you regularly feed your body when it’s hungry, the safer your body will feel in turning your appetite off. When it knows there is consistent, reliable food access, your fullness cues will come back.

 

7.    Cope with your emotions with kindness

In some instances, eating to cope with our emotions is the safest thing we can do. Do not beat yourself up for this. In other instances, when we allow ourselves permission to eat, the emotional eating subsides. It depends on what you have going on.

 

If emotional eating does not subside after working fully through these principles, this could be a sign that there is a deeper emotional cause to the eating. Talking with a therapist is highly recommended during this process.

 

8.    Respect your body

Did you know that you cannot tell a person’s health status just by looking at them?

It is a very common misconception that thin people are healthy and larger bodied people are unhealthy. It is entirely possible to be thin and unhealthy and plus size and healthy.

 

Regardless, health is not the rent you pay to live in this world. If health is not your main priority, or you have a chronic illness that prevents you from being “healthy”, you still deserve respect.

 

Take a break from measuring yourself. When going to the doctor, ask that the provider not weigh you. If they must weigh you, stand on the scale backwards so you cannot see the number and ask that they not share the number with you.

 

Your weight does not determine your worth. The way we look is the least interesting thing about ourselves! 

 

9.    Movement-Feel the difference

Exercise is not a punishment for eating. You do not need to earn your food with exercise!

 

Some benefits of movement that have nothing to do with appearance are:

·         Improved…

·         flexibility

·         Stamina

·         Mental health

·         Stress relief

·         Strength

·         Range of motion

·         Social outlet

If you have a difficult relationship with exercise and it’s hard to see movement as an outlet rather than a punishment, it is OK and encouraged to take a break from exercise all together while you heal.

 

10. Honor Your health – gentle nutrition

This is the last principle because often times, we need to relearn how to enjoy food before worrying about any type of nutrition information. Moving through the other principles can take a very long time (even years) and this one is absolutely fine to leave until you feel ready.

 

No one develops a deficiency overnight. Take your time in moving through these principles! Once you feel ready, your body will tell you when you’ve had enough of your previously forbidden foods. You may feel yourself start to crave a salad or vegetables. Honor those hunger cues.

 

Eventually, you will find a balance and eat according to the way you feel. When foods make you feel good, you’ll likely reach for them more often. Adding in fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, whole grains, and lean meats are a great way to aid in gentle nutrition.

 

Do not force yourself to eat these. Your body will tell you when you want them!

 

Happy healing! 

Podcast: https://soundcloud.com/dishingdietitians/mend-your-relationship-with-food